life by angela☼

Life has its scary and uncomfortable moments and the last thing anyone ever wants to do is step out of his or her comfort zone. You don’t know how a situation will end up and unfortunately that scares the crap out of people. We like to have control over our lives and when that’s threatened we freak out. It causes unnecessary anxiety and stress and in the end, you don’t end up “living” your life because you were to busy worrying about how things would turn out. Unless you learn to take the risk. You should always do the things that scare you because in the end this is how you will grow. If you see someone you want to get to know then go up to them and start a conversation. The worst they can say is no. Its cliché but its true. Don’t second guess sending messages or starting conversations, just do it. Travel, love, do whatever it is that you’re shying away from and just live a little. There’s a risk to everything you do in life and unless you choose to take that risk and step out ...

            “How are you doing?” I hear this question constantly recently. Everyone’s worried about me and how I may be handling life after this summer. It’s understandable though, after the loss of my grandfather on top of the loss of my mother, both in a short period of time, who wouldn’t be worried? When my response isn’t that I’m curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor having a breakdown, it seems to worry people even more. How am I fine? How am I handling everything so well? The assumption is that I’m holding everything in or ignoring the issue, but it’s not that at all. So for everyone who’s been wondering, here what’s really been going on:             This summer sucked. My grandpa passed away, I watched my mom suffer for most of the summer and then pass away, my other grandpa is sick, and on top of all that I spent forty hours a week working, sometimes even fourteen...

Everyone always seems to be asking me how I stay so positive, or accusing me of hiding how I really feel. I've been through a lot of crap and have been hurt by a lot of people. I have every right to feel broken and upset but, here’s the thing, I choose not to. The honest truth is, this is my life. Everything is my choice. Sure, maybe I can't control the way other people treat me, but I can control the way I accept that. So its not that I'm hiding my feelings or have a fear of opening up to people, I really just don't let the negative people in my life control me. It’s not worth it to me to be upset.  I've been there, I've been sad. I've had those nights where I do nothing but sit and cry on the bathroom floor and I've cried so hard that I can't breathe. But those nights sucked and I never want to relive them. So I don't.  That’s not to stay that I still don't care. I still get hurt, I still feel broken inside, and some nights are sti...

Who would have thought we would come to this. I loved you more than you’ll ever know. I fought for us and you fought for us. There was never a moment where I doubted you because I knew you loved me in a way you would never love anyone else. I saw the way your eyes would light up as I walked in a room, as if I was the only one in it, or how you would instantly smile after every kiss. I knew your heart was mine and I was the one who took over your thoughts. You were madly in love with me and I knew I finally had one of the good guys. But I’ll never want you back. I’ll never want you back because when we ended our relationship you told me you wouldn’t be able to move on from me for quite some time because of how much you loved me, yet that didn’t stop you from falling for one of my best friends right after. I’ll never want you back because you told me nothing would change between us, but we don’t talk unless I initiate it and you literally told me you don’t think of me enough to ...

            If you know me now, you probably know I’m a pretty positive person. I try to look for the best in every situation and don’t really let too much bring me down. However, if you’ve known me for more than four years, then you probably know I wasn’t always like this.             I used to actually be a pretty negative person. I never really thought that being happy was something I had control over. I had this mind set that life sucked. I hated my body, I didn’t like myself, and I didn’t like the way my life was going. Now I’m not saying I was some dark, depressing person. I still had great times and I laughed a lot. I loved my friends and if you saw me a few years ago then you would have thought I was a perfectly happy person. However, I was actually destroying my life with my negativity.             If I had a t...