Why I'll Never Want You Back

Who would have thought we would come to this. I loved you more than you’ll ever know. I fought for us and you fought for us. There was never a moment where I doubted you because I knew you loved me in a way you would never love anyone else. I saw the way your eyes would light up as I walked in a room, as if I was the only one in it, or how you would instantly smile after every kiss. I knew your heart was mine and I was the one who took over your thoughts. You were madly in love with me and I knew I finally had one of the good guys.

But I’ll never want you back.

I’ll never want you back because when we ended our relationship you told me you wouldn’t be able to move on from me for quite some time because of how much you loved me, yet that didn’t stop you from falling for one of my best friends right after.

I’ll never want you back because you told me nothing would change between us, but we don’t talk unless I initiate it and you literally told me you don’t think of me enough to remember to ask me how I’m doing.

I’ll never want you back because you were the one person I felt completely comfortable around and opened up to about everything in my life, the one person who I never would have expected to hurt me, but instead you broke me. After knowing everything about my past and how hard it was for me to trust someone, you broke every promise to me.

The worst part of it all is that you acted as if I hurt you. You made me feel guilty for everything I was feeling. You were able to manipulate me into thinking that you did nothing wrong and I was overreacting. But the thing is, you don’t get to tell me that you didn’t hurt me, because you did. So keep giving me the attitude and being an asshole when I bring up how broken and lonely I feel after how you’ve treated me. Keep telling me how you don’t think of me anymore and you only did what your heart was telling you, but just know you hurt me in a way that no one else ever has.

At one point I was your world and you were my person, but now I feel as if I don’t even know you. The way you’re acting I don’t recognize. You were supposed to be the good guy, the one I finally got it right with, you were perfect so how did this happen? Was it all a lie? Saying I was the one for you, the countless times you told me you would never be able to forget about me? When you told me we would stay the same? Or how about when you told me you were in love with me? Because you don’t hurt the people you love like this. You don’t act like their feelings don’t matter and you certainly don’t forget about them.

I loved you and you’re still on my mind every day. My heart still aches for you and my stomach still drops when I hear her name and yours in the same sentence. I feel sick when I come across your sweatshirts in my closet or a picture of us. Its not easy and I find you on my mind every night. So don’t you dare try and tell me you were in love with me and don’t try and act like everything’s normal, because you’re destroying me and I’ll never want you back.